[02 Dec 2004|01:20pm] [ mood | sleepy ] so basically i don't write here anymore and if you want a somewhat updated version of my life, you'll want to add laurenfatale to your flist. peace bitches. 1 ; apologize

hah. [19 Sep 2004|08:17pm] [ mood | annoyed ] ( dear samara... ) apologize

bwahaha [14 Sep 2004|08:40pm] [ mood | groggy ] paper due tomorrow. the big one. the ten page one that i was supposed to get in last year. but. i have a fever. sure it's only 99.0 degrees but it will rise. oh it will. because i refuse to take any medicine. 8:39 pm ; 99.0° F 8:43 ; 98.7° F .... dammit! ...give it time ... it will go up. 1 ; apologize

haiku [13 Sep 2004|10:54pm] [ mood | pissed the fuck off ] I have some lame friends. Sometimes I wish they weren't there. Briana is boss. so basically all that matters now are briana and nick. <3 3 ; apologize

[12 Sep 2004|02:49pm] [ mood | y'know ] [ music | pain | jimmy eat world ] i liked being uncool back before it was cool to be uncool. oh, and does anyone know when eternal sunshine of the spotless mind comes out on dvd? that was a pretty boss movie. 6 ; apologize

? [11 Sep 2004|06:14pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | art is hard | cursive ] Dear Life, I'm confused. I feel like something is missing in my life, but i don't know what it is. Sometimes I just want to run away, or move far away. Just leave everyone here and make a new start, but than I'd just be an awful person. I have a boyfriend and I love him, but sometimes I wonder if it's going to last. Whats going to happen when I go to college? What if he moves to Florida? Am I in the wrong that I never want to be with anyone else and that I'd be content on being with him the rest of my life? It's like sometimes, he acts like he has all this love for me built up, and what I have to offer him is shit in comparison. How do you know if everythings meant to be? Are you just supposed to know that stuff? Send me a sign. My friends are all falling apart. A mixture of dishonesty, backstabbing and apathy are at play. It's weird how you can go through school and keep the same friends for 5 or 6 years, but than all of a sudden something just changes. One decides it's important to be pretty and play sports and go to parties. One decides it's best to lie in order to be happier with her boyfriend. One stops calling, one is always pestering, and everyone is just drifting. It feels like nothing can be fixed, and a part of me doesn't want to fix it. It just seems like it's getting closer and closer to the time that we all go our separate ways. Why grow close to people that you going to lose touch with after senior year? I don't understand anymore. High school is one of those things that everyone hates, but yet everyone loves too. I mean it's your last free ride. The time where you can feel like an adult, but still get the benefits of a kid. Free education, free food, a free room to sleep in ... everything is there for you. But yet, we hate it. We want nothing more to get out and go to college, only to find out, all we want to do is be kids again. We cruise through our high schools just waiting for the day we can leave. We see the same people we've seen for the past 12 years. The people that we don't even look at like real people anymore. "Oh look there's Mike, what an asshole..." but do we even know anything about Mike other than he's different from us? How can we all go through school with all our predetermined thoughts about everyone and not care about it? Jocks, popular kids, geeks, goths, drama geeks, band geeks ... whats the point? All I want are some answers. Explain to me why things are the way they are, and how come nothing feels right anymore. Why is everything and everyone put into groups and thus known by it's group from then on. Whats the point of being different from everyone? If you're different you're mocked. I'm guilty of it, and I'll admit it. I don't like preppy people because I claim them to be jerks. I don't like punk kids because I claim them to be posers. I don't like goth kids because I think they are all looking for attention. But I don't know anything about any of them. Everyone's judgmental too. For any of you to say you aren't would be a lie. I hate being judgmental. So Life, please just explain to me the point of high school and everything that happens in my life up until the age of 18. Why does everything seem so important up until then .. but in all actuality it doesn't even matter. Why? Love Always, Lauren. 8 ; apologize

honestly [06 Sep 2004|09:20pm] [ mood | gloomy ] [ music | terminal preppy | dead kennedys ] end of the summer. already? ::weep:: i don't want it to be over. i did nothing overly exciting this summer, yet i just don't want it to end. a normal person would be pretty excited for their senior year. and if this was last year, i'd probably be excited too ... but i'm not. and the fact that my schedules all screwed up doesn't make anythign better. ::le sigh:: i think i'm gonna end up taking junior history again. drat dhyrberg. but all in all, the only thing i'm really dreading about school is the fact that i have to write some on-demand essays wednesday on books i never read. sparknotes will be owning me tomorrow night. ugh. and i'm pretty sure the honors english teacher this year is a hardass. w00t. summer's been grand. having a wonderful boyfriend made it that much better. i wish it had been warmer and all that junk. not too many beach days. wow this entry is boring. i had a bunch of stuff i wanted to say too. dammit. i gauged my ears. it hurt badly considering how small i gauged them. they are only at a 12 but dammit ... that hurt to do. oh, this seems to be the thing to do, but i think someone should write me a letter. i'll write anyone a letter that wants one too. just leave a message here with your address, or email it to me at boardlessgurl@hotmail.com oooor IM me at colormefatiguedx. i want letters dammit. or cds. i love cds. i'm all up for sending letters and cds. just tell me if you have any requests. anyways. i should probably go get shit together for tomorrow. fucking school. it can blow a donkey. lets pretend its june again and summer vaca just started. sounds good. late. 3 ; apologize

pimpage. [29 Aug 2004|10:41pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | rodeo clowns | jack johnson ] i just made another journal. it's laurenfatale. comment here for me to add you to the friends list on it. it's another kurt halsey theme, but after i made it, i realized i should have done another theme. so in the next week or so, it's probably getting changed to a kill bill look. but this is short, i just wanted to pimp that other journal. i have to get up at seven tomorrow to go to work at eight. i'll let all you fine folk know how the first day of work went. ♥ lauren. 7 ; apologize

::drool:: [28 Aug 2004|12:20am] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | drunken lullabies | flogging molly ] yes, drooling is what i'm doing, because i love this cd. it's rock against bush vol. two gah, i picked it up at bullmoose today, and it's so great. eep. better than vol. one i must say. the stuff on the dvd was really funny. there is a comedy skit by will ferrell, and patton oswalt, and one other guy that i haven't watched yet. all the bands that nick has gotten me into lately are on here too; lagwagon, flogging molly, dropkick murphys, operation ivy, mad caddies ... and then a bunch of bands that i already like; rancid, green day, foo fighters (kinda random), bouncing souls, no use for a name ... good stuff really. i recommend it. [/plug] but other than that, i had to go up to the high school today with my brother, which was extremly boring. then we had some subway, and bought stuff at bullmoose. nick came over and we hung out for a while before i had to go to my orientation for kohls. ugh. almost four hours of orientation in one little room. i was so bored. i got to pick some hours for next week though. that excites me. monday 8-4 (soooo early, but good money) tuesday off (but i have a dentist appt. for my wisdom teeth, and then i think i'm going to new hampshire to get some school clothes.) wednesday ff (i'm hopefully taking my brother out to palace playland with nick) thursday 4-8 friday 4-8 so yes, 16 hours for lauren next week. add that in with my 4 hours of orientation, and i'll have a nice paycheck. money again. i forgot how nice it was to get checks. woot. note to me: i have to read a book and 5/6 of another book before sept. 7th. yes yes. (sparknotes, here i come) i'm off to go read than. hahaha. yeah. read, right. i'm gonna go call my boyfriend. late. 2 ; apologize

mmm. livejournal. [25 Aug 2004|12:21am] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | dropkick murphys | irish drinking song ] man. i was so lame today, so lame that i was actually trying to remember stuff i wanted to write into eljay. i mean really. do other people do that? i'll be in the middle of a movie, or i'll be with my boyfriend, and i'll just think 'hmm this would be cool to write into eljay'. guh. i'm a tool. but anyways. i know what you're thinking. "OMGWTF has lauren like bin up 2 4 the like past mnth?!?!!11" ok so maybe you're aren't really thinking like that, and if you are ... i'm terribly sorry. thinking internet typing is bad. very very bad. what you're really thinking is "woah, i still have this girl on my friends list? who is she again?" Ah ha! well, i'm back ... again ... this time for real ... again. (well maybe.) so well i've been in england for the past month. it was a grand time. or at least until i found out i had been in a coma and the england thing was all dreams. but moving on. in all actuality, i've been either at my house or nick's house for a good amount of my missing time. and about a week out of that, i was camping with the family. rough times really. well no, my family isn't all too bad. it just got really annoying when nick and i would get woken up at 8 in the morning because people like the slam doors in that place. sad story i know. the month has been rather uneventful for the most part. nick and i had our four month the other day. wahoo. i've also been informed that people think i control the kid. if any of you know nick, you'd know that the kid is basically uncontrolable. and i mean that in all seriousness. the kid is basically a punk. it's pretty awesome actually. so anyone that thinks i'm controlling him can so choke on a carrot for all i care. bwahaha. i'm quite hyper right now in case none of you noticed. i was up until 3 last night working on the journal and talking to nick. it was fun, until i woke up and wanted to go back and sleep all day. lazy days of summer. yay. summer senior year '04 is approaching quickly. less than two week. and i still have 1 and 5/6 of books to read. joyous occasion. and on top of that i have a paper that was due last year that i still have to get in at some point. bloody dyhrberg. ::scoffs:: ok. i will end this very very random entry at this point. i now am hoping to fall asleep and get at least a good solid 12 hours of sleep. ps. it's time to find out who the real friends are. 1 ; apologize

[24 Aug 2004|01:33am] [ music | natta ] messed with the journal a bit. haven't updated in a while, but i plan on doing that soon. also i think that from now on, for the most part, my entries will be open to everyone. i'm doing this mostly 'cause my boyfriend has been nagging me. ...in a loving way of course. i'm not going to unlock any of the old entries, so if you care to read those, just ask me and i'll friend you. but look forward to a long update soon. ♥ apologize

friends cut for real [24 Jun 2004|08:25am] [ mood | cold ] the following people have been cut from my friends list. if your name is there and you want to be added back, just let me know. atticusf04 c0tt0n_cl0uds chicken_icons gnightdemocracy hobbit_elflover leavingouttexas takemysunaway todayisgoodbye so yeah, if you don't to be added back, and i'm also on your friends list, just take me off please. no hard feelings. 3 ; apologize

[18 Jun 2004|04:31pm] i'm looking for a really cool harry potter background to put on my livejournal. someone should find one for me. preferably from PoA. after i make my journal look pretty again, i'll start updating. i live. i swear. 1 ; apologize

take that you conservative asshole. [16 Feb 2004|05:32pm] 8 ; apologize

dooo it. [15 Feb 2004|05:27pm] [ mood | drained ] [ music | suicidal dreams|silverchair ] I ____ Lauren. Lauren is ____. If I were alone in a room with Lauren, i would _______. I think Lauren should _____. Lauren needs ______. I want to ____________ Lauren. Someday Lauren will ________. Lauren reminds me of __________. Without Lauren ________. Memories of Lauren are _________. Lauren can be_____. The worst thing about Lauren is _____. The best thing about Lauren _____. I am ________ with Lauren. do it. anonymously if you feel like it. just do it. 7 ; apologize

die motherfucker. [13 Feb 2004|09:36pm] [ mood | bitchy ] ahem. public annoucement: if your name begins with nikki and ends with finlay, i don't like you. i wish you would fall off the face of the earth. and take all the ugly gothunk kids with you. please and thank you. you are a hazard to my health and it is neccesary for you to disappear. thank you, and have a nice life. 12 ; apologize

hey baby whats your name? [29 Jan 2004|09:28pm] [ mood | sleepy ] [ music | a lack of color|death cab for cutie ] i bought a really hot jacket from american eagle today that was originally 88 dollars and i got it for 35 dollars. it made my week :o). i'm stealing this from lance. 'cause i can. fill it out as a comment. do it anonymously if you want. whatever. 1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. 2. Am I lovable? 3. How long have you known me? 4. When and how did we first meet? 5. What was your first impression? 6. Do you still think that way about me now? 7. What do you think my weakness is? 8. Do you think I'll get married? 9. What makes me happy? 10. What makes me sad? 11. What reminds you of me? 12. If you could give me anything what would it be? 13. How well do you know me? 14. When's the last time you saw me? 15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 16. Do you think I could kill someone? 17. Describe me in one word. 18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? 19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? 20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you? 7 ; apologize

do it. [27 Jan 2004|08:09pm] Recommend to me: 1. a movie 2. a book 3. a musical artist, song or album 4. an LJ user not on my friends' list 5. something to do in the next 2 months 7 ; apologize

the clothes you wear, the smell of your hair, it's driving me wild [19 Jan 2004|02:35pm] [ mood | lazy ] [ music | dirty, dirty|die trying ] public entry (</small>don't get used to it</small>) post anonymously again for this. and i won't log ips. thats just lame. tell me something you: a.) hate about me b.) love about me c.) would like to do with me (haha, it doesn't have to be clean either) thats all. have fun. 3 ; apologize

detailed lies [24 Dec 2003|11:06pm] [ mood | tired ] [ music | one armed scissor|at the drive in ] december 24, 2003 updated: june 21, 2004 girl. seventeen. lives in maine. likes: music, listening to shitty rap when pissed off, warm blankets, soft pants, people who care, emo, punk, local music, guys, shaggy hair, driving aimlessly, money, material objects, kissing, the ocean, sneakers, holding hands, jumping in puddles, people who appreciate me, maturity even though i'm not always mature, kurt halsey art, sleeping all day, the nightmare before christmas, books, cell phones, watching people, harry potter, lord of the rings, movies in general, reading books, seeing movies that are based on books, my boyfriend hates: most people, ignorance, judgemental people even though i'm judgemental, you, waking up, the radio, brown, beer, cats, maine, coldness, humidity, school, winter, snakes, little kids, perfection, consistency, steak, nosey people, linkin park, rudeness, mondays, assholes, back stabbers, feet, unpainted toenails. would like to: move far away, find someone for me, get into a decent college in the boston area, have a new scene, fit in with someone or something, stop being though of as a little kid, be given more freedom, have money, kick you in the face. .the end. apologize

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